Cats love music, too!

Since they were kittens, we always hum a tune whenever we carry them in our arms, like we often do with babies while lulling them to sleep. Even at the tender age of 3 months, I already noticed Wabbit look up, I mean literally looking up at me, searching for my gaze, whenever I sing a lullaby to him.

Several months later, singing the same tune would make him automatically close his eyes, and could even bring him to sleep right there in my arms (with him on my left arm, of course) while my right hand is busy writing a report.

Soon I began to notice that he also sleeps beside my laptop, with his head touching one of the speakers while there is background music being played on the computer.  Yes, he loves classical music!!!

While I was working on my report tonight, Wabbit suddenly jumped on my lap and faced the front side of the laptop. I was expecting him to rub his face on the edge of the computer, as he usually does. But I noticed that he was just sitting still, with his ears touching the front side of the laptop.

It took me a minute before I discovered Elton John's music coming out through the built-in speakers in the laptop.

Here's Wabbit while listening to EJ's Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me.











And his look when the music stopped!

A career shift or a shift in daily routines?

Hey, congrats! That's what most of my friends told me when they learned I was taking on a full-time job, after being a freelance for the past six years.

That I was making a major career shift in my life.

Yes, for the past 6 years, most people (especially my neighbors) I know, thought I had so much free time to bum around. But how can I do that, when I was always in front of this monitor, re-viewing a lot of documents and finishing a report so I can get my professional fee, in time to pay for my bills.

This is one thing I like in being a freelance -- nobody knows for sure when you really got a job out there, or you are just feigning to have a job out there.

There are actually a few reasons why I decided to try working full-time again. And these are the things I give in response to such query:

• I got burned out from working freelance for a long time; (burnout out? freelance?)
• I want to experience working in an office, to relate with officemates, again;
• I want to stay out of the house more often (as I think am getting a bit too domesticated already)
• My office wear were getting dusty and outmoded; (that's what my daughters tell me)
• Change of daily routine, as I was getting too attached to our pet cats and dogs, who are my constant companions at home, while my two daughters are out to school;
• I need a social life daw (what's wrong with wanting to stay at home all the time?) ...

After a month of working in an office (again), I found out that indeed, it was not simply a matter of changing my daily routines at all. Okay, I love the feel of sunshine touching my skin every morning while am on my way to the office. I also find it more enjoyable to observe the changing weather condition while sitting in an office with glass walling and no windows, than doing it at home.

For the first two weeks, I realized I was resisting the idea of waking up early, which also meant sleeping earlier than I used to. This created a lot of self-imposed pressure and stress, not only to myself, but also to other people inside our house.

After I succumbed to the idea of waking up early as part of the choices and decisions I made, things became much easier to bear.

Coming home from the office each day turned out to be an enjoyable walk from the office, passing through the mall, then walking a little bit farther, taking a few left and right turns around a few corners ... and then I am home!

But I was not prepared for the physical fatigue I experienced at the end of the day. Having been used to working alone, I never thought that relating with several people each day can be tiring din pala! Makes me wonder how other people manage that everyday!

However, despite the 8 - 5 or a 9 - 6 schedule, my mind still works like a freelancer. Thoughts about work still go beyond an 8-5 and a 9-6 type of mindset.

There are several other changes that occurred - both positive and negative, and new things learned as well. That includes my concept about "free time". Before, I simply let my day flow by slowly (or swiftly, if there are deadlines to beat) ... then wait for my free time to come, where I can sit by the window and start writing ...

But now, if I don't schedule it, I mean when my "free time" is going to be, I would never get to enjoy it anymore.

Being on a fork road, with several bumps ahead!

Yesterday I promised myself I am going to write about my online portfolio. For many reasons I wasn’t able to write anything about it. As I went through the ups and downs of my emotions and struggling thoughts on my present financial situation, I found out a few important lessons and insights on my experiences in planning and visualizing things I want to do and what I hope to happen.

A few blogs inspire me to do this.

There is KM Altomonte who's multiply account has evolved to what now appears to be an inspiring running portfolio of his creative projects. There is also EdLaT with his continuing stories of his trips and insights on his creative projects as well.

I want to write about my passions in life, too. About those wonderful experiences of working with clients, trips to the provinces, being with people in the community, and even being by myself while contemplating about upcoming projects.

There are moments, too, when I want to write a blog about this process of overcoming my financial difficulties for the past few months. I am hoping that this will push me to sustain my efforts in overcoming negative thoughts, nitpicking, and involuntary release of statements I tend to regret later on.

There are several things that keep pulling me down. And make me want to ‘disappear’ for a while until such time I could pay my debts and unpaid bills here at home.

But amidst all these not-so-comfortable feeling about my situation, I really strive to keep my spirits up; hoping things will change in a wink of an eye. But the moment I open my eyes, they are still the same.

Maybe, I am depressed. I just try to hide it even to myself. The truth is I am not happy about the way things are. I feel so much pressure to make things work out normally because deep inside I do feel helpless and some sort of a failure in providing for the needs of my two daughters.

I also feel so much envy for others who aren’t worrying about things that bother me a lot. I wish I can be like them, too. Cool and happy. I guess.

I am speaking out my mind here, hoping this will help me release all the anxieties that surface, even in my sleep.

Things I read tell me to keep my goals on the front. To hold on to my dreams of having a better life, the best life I can make out of each moment that comes my way. Although I know that sitting here, doing nothing is not going to take me to where I want to be, still I am doing it.

Last night I requested for a sign to tell me things are going all right. Today I got a spam email with a subject title “I found a job for you”. Although not sure what this meant, I took it as a sign of whatever is being revealed to me.

No sir … not having a job right now is not a big problem to me. But not having enough funds is. I cannot move much because every time I think of going out of this house spells ‘expenses’ for my accounting mind.

Right now I just want to go to sleep. To play with these cute kittens and just rest my heart from all these worries.