Here’s a segue to my previous entry about communicating with your teenage kids.
Two days after posting my last blog, I got this feedback from my eldest daughter.
"Ma, you really got it wrong! I wasn't laughing at your friend! I just can't help laughing when an image of somebody else came into my mind! ... you weren't listening kasi eh.” After a short pause, she added, “I read your blog, Ma.”
Ah ok, that gave me an idea what my daughter was referring to. I had mixed feelings when I heard her talk about it -– glad to know she read my blog, and at the same time I was also wondering how she felt about what she read, which made me ask her: “If you were somebody else, say, one of your cousins or friends, and you read that blog … what would be your impression about it?”
“Hmmm…I would think it’s Bam bashing,” was her immediate reply.
My mind went ‘uh-uh’ as I was about to ‘defend’ what I wrote but instead of doing that I chose to remain silent and listen more intently to what she was about to say. Am sure both of us wouldn’t want to enter into another argument about it. And sure enough, this decision paid off when she suddenly said …
“But that’s your blog anyway, Mom!” and smiled at me.
Upon hearing this I suddenly realized that indeed, here's a young adult before me now ... oh my kids are both grown up already. I really have to relax a bit and start learning how to grow up with them. There's a lot of my stored knowledge about raising kids that need some updating. This sent me wondering ...
Do I really have to be irritated when I see clutter in their own space? Is there a better way to handle this?
Should I be bothered that they don't seem to be that affected when they watch horror movies? (...and am too afraid to watch one with them?)
Do I need to feel hurt when they put on a strong argument when I say "because i say so..."?
Oh, it seems like there is really a lot of rethinking needed about these things. I thought having gone through their early adolescence years was already much of a challenge to my intelligence, and yes, my own sanity. Kaloka talaga yon!
And now, am treading a new path with them once again. Why do kids have to grow up so fast? I haven't familiarized myself yet in relating with teenage daughters, and now there are more instances my eldest daughter is more sensible than I think I am. Painful, yes, but also very humbling. And I love that moment when I heard them say ...
"Of course, Mom, the next generation should be better than the previous one, di ba?"
This time I was the one who smiled back at them. I can't help from smiling inside when I see a compliment coming, intended or not, I still wanna smile. ^_^
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