Years ago, I've heard my daughter's friends describe me as a 'cool mom'. Whatever that means, I graciously took this as a compliment to my open attitude towards my two daughters -- of not resorting to giving 'lectures' when I see them act quite 'differently', of course, in comparison to how I think I acted when I was their age!
My desire during the past years was to learn with them, to learn from them, on how it is to be a teenager in the present times.
I did learn a lot from them. And until now, it seems that they really enjoy teaching me and giving me tips from how to dress up for a meeting, to helping me understand what the latest catchphrase means, and even in updating me with the latest craze in showbiz, techno gadgets, and whatever is happening in the music industry. Each day, there is always a new lesson for me.
These conversations (while I am in this learning mode) also helped me understand why they enjoy watching horror films and still find them funny while I can't even stand to watch a horrifying scene. This attitude also helped me appreciate their kind of music, the likes of Mars Volta, My Chemical Romance, Urbandub, and many other bands I've become familiar with now.
I can't remember exactly when I started to act more like a 'typical' parent, as my daughters describe it, wherein a series of shoulds and shouldn'ts became part of my vocabulary. It must have been the clutter and 'garbage' covering our homely living room ... or the pile of laundry that's been in the corner of their room for the past two weeks that triggered this. I don't exactly remember. Foremost in my mind was the need to get things organized. To create a better ambience inside our home. To be their mom. Period.
But the point is, I just found myself issuing more 'commands' that need to be followed, a tone which I only realized when they also started to respond with a "Yes, Mom!" (or was it actually a "Yes, Ma'am"?)
There were even times when I simply allow my 'autopilot' to take over and deliver those punches of guilt-inducing lines, which can be hurtful, I realized later on. Such strongly-worded statements I would say that I don't want to be on the receiving end of what my autopilot is able to pull out, unknowingly.
These are moments when I've been drained of all
energies, had been under stress from work, or had been dealing with a difficult client ... only to find out that upon arriving home there's still a lot of things to do ...
Sometimes it's just too much.
Putting it simply, there are times when my badge of honor of being a 'cool mom' fades out and loses its relevance amidst the challenges confronting working moms like me.
On hindsight, I think this is also what happens with most 'typical parents' (from my daughters' point-of-view) who have been out working the whole day, have been going through Manila's heavy traffic and several other stressful circumstances that make it difficult to maintain a 'cool attitude' once we are with our children or with our family.
(to be continued ... )
My desire during the past years was to learn with them, to learn from them, on how it is to be a teenager in the present times.
I did learn a lot from them. And until now, it seems that they really enjoy teaching me and giving me tips from how to dress up for a meeting, to helping me understand what the latest catchphrase means, and even in updating me with the latest craze in showbiz, techno gadgets, and whatever is happening in the music industry. Each day, there is always a new lesson for me.
These conversations (while I am in this learning mode) also helped me understand why they enjoy watching horror films and still find them funny while I can't even stand to watch a horrifying scene. This attitude also helped me appreciate their kind of music, the likes of Mars Volta, My Chemical Romance, Urbandub, and many other bands I've become familiar with now.
I can't remember exactly when I started to act more like a 'typical' parent, as my daughters describe it, wherein a series of shoulds and shouldn'ts became part of my vocabulary. It must have been the clutter and 'garbage' covering our homely living room ... or the pile of laundry that's been in the corner of their room for the past two weeks that triggered this. I don't exactly remember. Foremost in my mind was the need to get things organized. To create a better ambience inside our home. To be their mom. Period.
But the point is, I just found myself issuing more 'commands' that need to be followed, a tone which I only realized when they also started to respond with a "Yes, Mom!" (or was it actually a "Yes, Ma'am"?)There were even times when I simply allow my 'autopilot' to take over and deliver those punches of guilt-inducing lines, which can be hurtful, I realized later on. Such strongly-worded statements I would say that I don't want to be on the receiving end of what my autopilot is able to pull out, unknowingly.
These are moments when I've been drained of all
energies, had been under stress from work, or had been dealing with a difficult client ... only to find out that upon arriving home there's still a lot of things to do ...Sometimes it's just too much.
Putting it simply, there are times when my badge of honor of being a 'cool mom' fades out and loses its relevance amidst the challenges confronting working moms like me.
On hindsight, I think this is also what happens with most 'typical parents' (from my daughters' point-of-view) who have been out working the whole day, have been going through Manila's heavy traffic and several other stressful circumstances that make it difficult to maintain a 'cool attitude' once we are with our children or with our family.
(to be continued ... )
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