When your writing problem is not so much about writing

We are all book-lovers at home although it would be safe to say that each one has her own taste  when it comes to often-preferred books to read.  Each one has her own shelf for these preferred books, the ones we really protect from any form of  'calamity'...

I was surprised when Kim told me she borrowed my book on writing.  I must have mastered the art of thinking aloud that when I turned to face her with a running question: "which book is Kim referring to? Which among those books?" at the back of my mind, she hastily replied: "that small book, Ma. The book for writers' churvah…"  

"Ah the writer's-portable-therapist book", was all I said, as an image of the small book came to my mind.  I remembered buying that book from Booksale hoping this might help me overcome my difficulty in writing feature articles.  But I forgot to mention to her that after reading the Introduction, I got stuck in that part and actually forgot about it until she mentioned it that day.  That was a week ago.

Yoda & Mowgli at dusk (2011)

Early this evening I was telling Kim I found it really hard to concentrate in my writing with two of the male cats (Yoda and Uban) literally shouting out their voices as if they are performing a rock concert.  At first I found their meowing sound a bit funny because they did a lot of combination of tones, from a simple growl to what seemed to be some sort of vocalization - of high notes and very low ones.  However, it became irritating after several days of hearing them go through this kind of 'vocalization' the whole day.  And I was starting to suffer tension headaches whenever I hear Yoda and Uban perform these numbers. 

This time I asked Kim to help me clean up the wound I saw in Yoda's jaw as this might be the reason he is creating those loud sounds.  Maybe he is in pain, I told her.  I couldn't treat the wounds of our pets without getting stressed out, which according to my daughters, are also felt by our pets.  And so when I make this request, they know I am already getting pissed off and I couldn't treat Yoda's wound  with a cool head. 

Just before dinner, Kim handed me the book she borrowed last week and told me, no, she instructed me to read it because she thinks I need to read it to help me reconnect with writing once again.  She told me that reading just a few chapters already helped her get on with her own short stories.

And so while Kim was cleaning up Yoda's wound, I pulled up a chair and started reading the first chapter of this book.  The following paragraphs suddenly caught my attention:

"(…)There are many different causes of writing problems as there are writers.  Writing is hard work.  As a licensed psychotherapist, I work with all types of writers at every level (…) I have dealt with every kind of personal, professional, and psychological problem that writers can experience.

When writers feel discourages, depressed, or demoralized, it's often the result of outside circumstances such as not being able to get work, not being able to sell the work, not being able to make a living through writing, or not being able to get an agent.  Rather than focus on writing problems, my clients and I work on solutions.  Together, we develop personal action plans and set writing goals.  We search for successful strategies to be proactive rather than inactive.  We also work together to raise the writer's self-esteem and to transform negative, self-defeating beliefs into positive ones." (Excerpt from Introduction of The Writer's Portable Therapist book, p. xi)

After reading this I thought of opening a new file using WordPad.  Then found myself typing automatically.  After having typed three paragraphs it suddenly dawned on me that earlier this evening a friend texted me asking if I am free on November 16 - 17 for some writing job.  I hastily replied that yes, I am free and would like to take on this job.  Well, I've been in-between jobs for the past couple of weeks.

I don't know what happened here tonight but looks like I will be reading more chapters of this book in the next few days.  I am just about to finish the Introduction part but here I am -- already able to post this blog ... after almost a month of not being able to write anything.  I feel a lot better although Yoda still continues to vocalize at the top of his voice.  Perhaps we will have to check on Yoda's wound again tomorrow and continue treating it ... pay more attention to other concerns and perhaps go out to visit that art shop I saw the other day, check on new arrivals at my favorite book store, and find time to reconnect with my journal notebooks again.